Wow what a heavy couple of weeks it has been! Who doesn’t agree? Such heavy energy to wade through and as I come up to the surface for air – I once again see the light and am grateful.

It has been so difficult to hold onto the light and positive, which then brought the gift of realization. Realization of the need to let go and embrace the darkness, the shadow. This full moon has brought some interesting new learning and growth with it. It is one thing knowing – intellectually what is going on and another to feel your way through the emotions and find the right path for yourself.

One of the things that I have learned and would like to share is of the importance of our words and the pictures we hold in our minds. When we speak to others, we also hear what we say and we build pictures in our minds. One of the sayings that I have been known to parroting is “Life is a roller coaster – we just have to ride it” – Thanks Ronan Keating for those words! Although life can seem to be like that – the picture and the feeling it instills needs to be the focus of our attention. We need to ask ourselves what the roller coaster means to us. Well this picture can give the appearance of exhilaration and that alive feeling (for me however – I’m always on the top of the highest curve on the ride – the only way is down – and the plunging gut feeling that comes with that)- this brings nausea at a deep level for me and a complete sense of being out of control. Life then follows suit from this picture. The feeling generated is sent out to the universe – my expectation of life and circumstances and events fall into place and I am on the roller coaster – AAAGH! I can not believe it has taken me so long to realize that I have been holding that picture in my mind and every time I said those words, I put into play those feelings and ultimately called forth more of that into my life. The truth is we all hold steering wheels of life in our hands and have firm control of an accelerator and the break pedal is also close. There is a new picture and saying that I need to develop that will serve me better than this.

Another saying is “The waves keep coming – we just need to become good surfers” and such a good saying it is and true also. The question is – how good are you really at surfing and what picture is in your mind and what feeling does this evoke in your body? I know I could certainly develop techniques to become a good surfer but this would take some time and effort – the truth is that we are actually already champion surfers. We have made it through life so far and have endured many challenges, trials and tribulations and have grown a tremendous amount. Yes we will be getting more challenges but we already have all that we need in ourselves to not only endure but also triumph. Triumph in our inner growth and learning, our deepening of wisdom, love and understanding.

I encourage everyone to firstly become aware of the pictures that you hold in your mind when you speak and the feelings that they instill in you. Then to make a choice what needs to be adjusted to serve you and your life better.

I, for one have decided to ditch the roller coaster and replace it with a red convertible with the top down on a sunny day, steering wheel firmly in hand and choosing the direction that I am traveling in, I am aware that there will be pot holes and obstacles  but these things are there for me to experience to improve my skills and to deepen the experience of life.